"Jane Eyre" - Charlotte Bronte

BLURB:

"Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre to this day entrances readers with its passionate portrayal of a woman struggling to make a life for herself in a cruel and indifferent world. As orphan Jane becomes governess at Thornfield Hall, she falls in love with her employer, Mr Rochester, only to discover that he has a terrible secret, one which may jeopardize their future happiness. Jane Eyre's struggle for independence has echoed with readers ever since."

REVIEW:

As you may have gathered from the previous reviews on this blog, my literary tastes are not very sophisticated. My favourite authors range all the way from Matthew Reilly to - God forbid! - Stephenie Meyer. I'm not really into classics, and to be honest, I can't see why some of them are considered 'classics' in the first place. For example, The Great Gatsby. It was an OK story. I have no idea why it's a 'classic' though. I didn't like it much - but then, I suppose dislike goes with almost every text that you are forced to study for English.

Jane Eyre is the one exception. I can see exactly why it's a classic, and I genuinely love the story.

And yet it's difficult to pinpoint why I like it so much. I think what appeals to me most is the sense of mystery - what's going on in the attic? What's up with that Grace Poole anyway? What's Mr. Rochester trying to hide? The revelations that follow serve to increase the drama and suspense, without seeming completely outlandish and ridiculous, and without turning the story into a run-of-the-mill soap opera.

Admittedly, there were quite a lot of characters that I just wanted to punch in the face - mainly the hypocritical ones - and reading of Jane's childhood and adolescence was depressing and frustrating. However this just causes me to admire Jane's character even more, since she managed to get through such horrendous ordeals growing up, and did not turn out to be a serial killer.

I think that's the best thing about Jane Eyre - Jane's amazing determination, strong moral grounding and endless patience that I could never hope to achieve. She never gives up, never abandons her principles, and hardly ever blows her top at anyone. Thankfully, in the end, she is finally rewarded.

I also like the fact that I was able to buy this for just ten bucks at Dymocks.

RATING: A richly woven narrative with mystery, drama, and genuine classic appeal. 5 STARS

"Prom Nights From Hell" - Cabot, Meyer, Jaffe, Myracle, Harrison

BLURB:

"In this collection, bestselling authors including Stephenie Meyer and Meg Cabot take bad Prom nights to a whole new level - a paranormally bad level...

Wardrobe catastrophes and two left feet are nothing compared with discovering you're dancing with the Grim Reaper - and he isn't here to tell you how hot you look...

From vampire exterminations to angels fighting demons, these five stories will be more fun than any DJ in a bad dinner jacket. No corsage or limo rental necessary - just great, sexy, scary fun!"

(NB: it contains five short stories, each written by one of the listed authors. In case you didn't realise this.)

REVIEW:

This was the book that reached up, tapped me gently on the shoulder, and said "Emma? You have well and truly outgrown teenage fiction. Move on."

Of course, I didn't really expect anything more than fairly stock-standard American teen chick-lit, with the usual formula of Unrealistic Depictions of Teenage Romance, a first-person narration by the Girl Who Doesn't Quite Fit In, and the Rather Disproportionate Importance of The Prom, with a dash of Attempted Dry Humour (my friend Jen refers to this as "soppy, cotton-candy crap"). In the case of the five short stories contained in this book, there was an added Paranormal Element thrown into the mix. However I was still hoping that maybe, just maybe, there might be at least a tiny bit of light entertainment value in there somewhere.

And there was. But it was indeed small, and depended heavily on the author. What follows is a story-by-story breakdown of the aforementioned book.

Meg Cabot's story - The first time I read Cabot, like almost any other teenage girl, I thought her books were refreshing, light-and-fluffy, and very amusing, if not hilarious at times. However, after reading quite a few, I started to feel like I was reading the same story, over and over again, with different characters (always whinging about boys) and a slightly different background scenario. Her short story in this volume, about a girl trying to kill a vampire, was just another delivery of formulaic, cookie-cutter Cabot. It was very disappointing, and also seemed to borrow a little too heavily from Meyer's Twilight series. I found it incredibly lacking in originality, to be honest, even for teen fluff.

Lauren Myracle's story - wasn't actually as horrendous as I thought it might have been. There were still one or two cringe-worthy elements, but considering the intended audience is indeed pre-teen and younger-teenage girls (as opposed to 19-year-old science degree students), I guess I won't judge those flaws too harshly.

I liked this story much better than Cabot's, and even though it was rather predictable, the writing was decent, with the ending even reminding me slightly of Stephen King.

Kim Harrison's story - This one actually started off quite well. To me, it seemed to be a tad more believable and even, perhaps, slightly more mature than the other stories, and towards the middle of the story, it became really intriguing. However, the second half of the story was a bit of a letdown. It suddenly turned into a straight-out supernatural fantasy tale, bogged down with details and raising more questions than it answered. It was also just pretty confusing, and the ending proved to be very anticlimatic. Kind of disappointing.

Michele Jaffe's story - Not bad, not bad. It's certainly not the best thing Jaffe has ever written, but I still found it fairly enjoyable, and some of the ideas were quite original. This particular story provided the sole 'laugh out loud' moment (for me) from the entire book, which I think deserves a round of applause. However I did think a lot of the protagonist's characterisation seemed very similar to Jaffe's Bad Kitty series, so I just hope she doesn't go down the same path as Meg Cabot - recycling the same characters under different names - in the future.

Stephenie Meyer's story - Oh dear.

OH DEAR.

This was by far the worst story of the lot. Unbelievably shallow, full of completely ridiculous fantasy, and containing the longest and dreariest passage of dialogue interspersed with descriptions that I have ever read. It wasn't so silly that it was fun - it was just plain stupid. I mean, consider the plot: there's a demon at the prom who likes causing misery and whose primary goal is to ruin the night, but don't worry, everything is saved by an ANGEL and the PROM ENDS HAPPILY FOR ALL.

*hits head on desk*

I'm not even going to apologise for putting a bit of a spoiler up there, because the story was so bad, it doesn't deserve to be read. Seriously. Avoid. It's crap.

RATING: I guess it's fair to say that younger readers might enjoy it more than I did, but on the whole, this book was pretty so-so. 2.5 STARS

(PS: Interestingly, I ended up reading Prom Nights from Hell when I had random moments to fill in while at home. However, on the train to and from uni, and in some of my break times there, I was immersed in Jane Eyre. Talk about from one extreme to the other.)

Label on a jar of strawberry jam

BLURB:

"100% spreadable fruit. An old French recipe of delicious strawberries sweetened only with grape juice concentrate. Net wt. 284g. Refrigerate after opening."

REVIEW: I'm not sure if anyone else has really explored a particular food I have occasionally for breakfast, if we happen to have whipped cream in the fridge that needs to be used up. I call it 'Devonshire Toast' since, like Devonshire teas, it involves jam and cream, but instead of warm scones, this fantastic combination is spread liberally on a slice of toast. As you can imagine it's not the healthiest of breakfasts to be had, and most mornings I swap the jam and cream for butter and Vegemite.

However, for the purposes of Devonshire Toast, I use this jam (or I guess Americans would call it 'jelly' or something, even though it's not jelly, it's jam, because jelly is the gelatinous stuff that wobbles around and is eaten with ice cream as a dessert, not the sweet spreadable fruit conserve pictured above. This is why I was completely mystified once as to why anyone in their right mind would have 'peanut butter and jelly' on a sandwich. But never mind all that.)

The label is pretty boring, and there's definitely not much of a plot: just a description of the contents, a list of ingredients (Strawberries 55%, grape juice concentrate, lemon juice, fruit pectin), nutritional information (nil fat, plenty of sugar), and company contact information. However, the actual jam in the glass jar is pretty impressive stuff - not too lumpy, but not runny either. Tastes good too. Just right.

RATING: There was very little character development throughout - but it was very sweet. 4 stars.

Just a note...

...to say I'm amazed to discover a couple of people have actually read my blog! To be quite honest I never really expected many people (if anyone at all!) to read any of my reviews, which is one of the reasons I ended up abandoning it for several months without any real explanation. (The other two reasons are called 'the HSC' and 'starting university', both of which effectively stopped me from reading anything other than textbooks and study notes for a while.)

Not that I'm kidding myself, or anything - I mean I don't really believe many people are, you know, checking back here each week in eager anticipation to see if I've posted something new.

However I did notice that the 'hit counter' was not just in the tens, or even in the hundreds - but over a thousand views! Now that was surprising. So I might just start blogging here again (though perhaps not as frequently - semester 2 starts next week after all), just in case anyone is actually, uh, watching.

If you are reading this, I'd love it if you could leave a comment below, just saying how you actually came across my blog...I'm very curious :)

And a big thank you to the people who have left comments on a couple of the reviews, as well. <3

"Bad Kitty" - Michele Jaffe

BLURB:

A weekend in Vegas with my family. How crazy-slash-shocking-slash-dangerous could it be?

Meet Jasmine [1], forensic supersleuth and unwitting victim of a naughty feline.

Her book is:
36% Las Vegas mystery
49% unstoppable crush [2]
15% fashion emergency
100% the cat’s fault [3]

[1] That’s me! Hi.
[2] Is that all you’re going to say about Jack? Aren’t you going to mention him? I mean, other than as a crush? If I were reading this, that’s what I could want to know about. I’m just saying.
[3] That’s it? The. End.? What about the wedding I ruined and Alyson and Veronique’s Crimes Against Fashion and…yes, I know. For the book. Inside. Zipping it.

(yes, those footnotes are intentional.)

REVIEW:

My friend gave me this book last Christmas. When I saw it, my first thought was "Huh, a Meg Cabot clone, but probably with inferior humour and a stupid plot." But it was a book. That someone had given me. Of course I was going to read it.

I soon found myself wondering why Michele Jaffe wasn't a lot more popular in the teen chick-lit scene, because I actually found myself giggling out loud more times than I could count. And let me tell you, I am not the kind to actually laugh out loud simply from reading a book, because my sense of humour is rather weird, and the only other author who has succeeded in this quest is Jaclyn Moriarty. Usually I just smile. This book was a crack-up and I'm looking forward to reading the next in the series.

I did have some qualms though. For instance, the plot. The book tries to be a 'mystery thriller', and the narrator, Jas, is an amateur detective who then goes about trying to solve this mystery. However, like so many police procedural TV shows, all the clues suddenly coalesce in the detective's mind during the last five minutes and are wrapped up so quickly you find yourself wondering "Hold on - who was that guy anyway?" In this case, the speech given by our detective in one of the final chapters - you know, the one where she recites all the clues and how the realisation about who the culprit was came to her in a sudden flash of inspiration at the last minute - winds up all the leads in a slightly tangled mess which was quite confusing.

Also, many of the situations and characters veered out of 'deliberately-bizarre-in-order-to-be-humourous' territory into the 'just-plain-ludicrous' category. This applies especially to the final climactic scene where all the lead characters are in big trouble - but of course they get out of it - where everything that occurs is entirely unrealistic and contrived.

But I forgive Michele for these flaws, and for spelling her name with only one 'L', because I understand they tend to be commonplace in this brand of fiction, and also because it was just plain fun to read.

RATING:

Very silly. Very funny. 4 STARS

Quote by Stephenie Meyer on age limitations for books

BLURB:
Stephenie Meyer, author of the Twilight series, said something in a video interview that I completely agree with. Quote:

“I didn’t make any kind of conscious effort to write an adult novel. For me, those lines are actually kind of irritating. I don’t think there should be a certain section of the bookstore that you can’t go into – a good book is a good book, and if it’s a good book you should read it! Just because it was written so that ten-year-old could enjoy it too, that doesn’t mean that an adult can’t get a whole lot out of that novel. I’m hoping that my books help people cross those lines, that they don’t feel like “Oh well, that book is in a section of the store where I don’t belong.” You belong anywhere a good book is.”

The video can be seen on the Amazon.com page for her novel The Host.

REVIEW:
I'm at a slightly awkward age in terms of "where I belong in a bookstore". I'm eighteen, and next year I'll be a uni student, so I'm in that horrible transitory age somewhere in between 'teenage/young adult' and 'adult'. When I go look in the 'teenage' section, I feel too old to be there, and when I look in the adult section, I feel too young. (This could be largely due to my entirely irrational self-conscious tendencies, which make me feel as though everyone is judging me.)

However, being "in transition" is somewhat advantageous: I can still identify with many of the teenage characters in the young adult books, while also enjoying the added sophistication that comes from adult novels. For instance, my guilty pleasure when it comes to books is Anthony Horowitz's 'Alex Rider' series. Since they are written for an intended audience of younger-teenage male readers (Alex is fourteen in the books), I definitely don't fit into the intended demographic. But they're still very entertaining books. Meanwhile, right next to those books on my bookshelf (literally!) sits Michael Crichton's "Next", which is very definitely an adult novel, dealing with complex themes and containing several sexual references.

Hence, I don't really like age barriers. (Although, nevertheless, some books are definitely too adult for younger readers - perhaps books should carry classification ratings in the same way that movies do). I still enjoy teenage novels, even though most people would say I'm too old for them. Why should I be 'too old' for them? Because they don't have the level of intellectual complexity I should be dealing with now that I'm legally an adult? Matthew Reilly is one of my favourite authors, and he writes action thrillers for adults, but they don't exactly contain a great deal of content designed to make me think. In fact, they're largely rubbish. But I mainly read for entertainment. And I think if a book is entertaining, then I should feel entitled to read it, no matter where it belongs in the store.

RATING:
How does one rate a quote? Not sure. But I agree with it. 4 STARS

Intermission

I was talking to my best friend Jen the other day in English, trying to figure out a time she could come over to watch the latest couple of Doctor Who episodes she'd missed (I'd recorded them.) However we weren't able to decide on a suitable time - because something got in the way.
"Stupid school!" she complained, emphatically slapping the desk. "It gets in the way of all our favourite TV shows!"
It also gets in the way of other hobbies, too.
In the past three weeks, I have only read 118 pages of a 583-page novel (that sounds like a lot written down, but it's a standard-sized novel...I should be able to finish that in a few days!) I highly doubt any more reviews will be forthcoming for quite some time.
So, with my first exam only 45 days away, I have to back off on the recreational reading and attempt to throw my unwilling self into study instead. I should be able to return to reading stuff and writing reviews when the damn HSC is over...and the partying begins.
Adiós!